Just when you get a handle on the whole chicken/turkey thing. You have mastered the feed – water – sunshine ratio’s. You have given them fruit treats and veggies – just to mix it up, then you get to that day where…… you have to end it all.
I have to admit to being a little weirded out by the whole thing! Feels a little freaky to be deciding… ok tomorrow, we start the cull. Cull sounds like such a nice word – much better than kill – softer, quieter than kill. I think farmers come up with these words to fool the animals… lull them into a false sense of security!
So… time to pull on my big girl farmer boots and wade into this whole process. Gotta earn my stripes.
Like everything else over the last year or so, we have to spend some time researching all the how to’s. Thanks to our friends at Crooked Fence Farm in Langley ( the lovely Shaun & Michelle Bennett! ) Darren was able to get a couple lessons on the basics and the opportunity to give it a go before we left the lower mainland.
So let me lay out the basic technique for you:
Step 1 – Catch the chickens. Hahahahahahaha…… I’m telling you right now – use children! Send them into the coop and tell them to grab the chickens by their legs. Screaming and squacking of children and birds will ensue!
Step 2 – Place the bird in either the cone (picture a smaller version of the cone that the vet uses on the dog) or the hopper bopper ( I talked about this in an earlier post – too gross to describe here!) and get the business of culling done. Extra points for fast and precise. Actually, extra, extra points for being able to do the “cull” in the first place. We are, believe it or not, a bunch of softies so this was a struggle. Chuck did the majority of the raising – so he struggled with this step! When time came – we all pointed to Darren! He had all the experience after all! Thanks Darren!
Step 3 – Birdy needs a bath. So next step is to dunk the bird in a hot water bath. 
First you need a big enough vessel to dunk a whole chicken into – no problem – seems we had an old water heater! Darren broke out one of the 5 million tools he has on hand and cut that sucker in half – done! Water is heated to the right temperature – best at 148 degrees but can be anywhere from 145 to 150 degrees, but no higher! Not easy to do since you are not processing these chickens in your kitchen!
Step 4 – Birdy needs to get naked. Off come the feathers! How you ask? Well with the chicken plucker of course! Every chicken farmer worth his salt has got himself a 
chicken plucker! This was a challenge that Darren just couldn’t turn away from. He is in his glory, ripping apart an old washing machine, fine tuning a motor, ordering large rubber nipples ( my city friends are totally lost here! hahahaha!), drilling and hammering for days. There was a lot of swearing and muttering about gear differentials and something about torque, but finally his creation is ready to go. We could just pluck them by hand – but when you are looking at doing 30 birds – that feels a bit daunting!
Step 5 – We are in the home stretch! To make the chicken look like it does when you get it at the grocery store – you 
need to lose the feet and the inside bits! Once again – Chuck and Darren get the nod since both fellas have some experience in that area! A good sharp knife and voila!
Step 6 – Ice cold water bath to make sure that they are well chilled and then wrapped and placed in the fridge for a couple of days before going in the freezer.
I know what you are thinking…… I said I pulled on my big girl farmer boots and got involved in the process. I did! Really!!!! But anyone who knows me knows that there isn’t a hope in hell that I was involved in Steps 1, 2, 3 or most of 5. I want to point out that I was clearly there – a good writer observes the topic personally! I did get involved in Step 4 of course (some of my really good friends are giggling right now!) I wielded the hose – a very necessary skill – for the guys running the chicken plucker and those removing feet and bits! Lots of water is required for these steps and determining force and angle of water trajectory play a part! Nobody wants to wear bits! 
And I did do some hand plucking….. yes I did!
While you mull over this intriguing process, I have to tell you that we were most definitely not alone in getting through this task. I still have enough city in me to be surprised at the generous, spontaneous offers of help we experience with some regularity out here. This whole thing took on the atmosphere of a neighborhood block party! Experienced and inexperienced friends joined us, brought their kids and their dogs, and any handy tools they had and dug right in – eager to help or learn. The kids took on the catching and the culling (they boys thought this part was way “cool”!) and all the adults got their hands dirty on one step or another. Cold beers and hot dogs roasted over the fire rounded out the night – several nights actually. Watch, do, teach another – the farmers motto! You all know who you are! The help and the wonderful company made fast work of a big job and we appreciate it so much!